Cassius... is not the most in tune to people’s emotions. He is all too aware of it, of that disconnect between him and the creatures he tries to imitate. Of the complex spectrum of human emotions and how saturated they can become when compared with his paltry own. And yet, even with so little understanding, Cassius knows some emotions better than others, thanks to his Hunter.
Like the look upon Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros’ face when he lingers by the door.
Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros must have heavy thoughts like his Hunter does. The ones that -
( - carved itself into me, Cas. You don’t… forget something like that. Can’t forget.
It’s become just as much a part of me as your maggots are a part of you.)
He doesn’t point out the pause (his Hunter appreciates when he does not, and something tells him that Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros would appreciate it as well), merely watches as Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros comes back to the moment and acts as if it had not happened instead. For all his curiosity, Cassius is all too aware how it can pry open wounds for the flies to infest.
“’Decontamination procedures’?” he echoes eventually, following Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros, grateful for his consideration of Cassius’ slower shell even as his low drone abruptly shifts (his Hunter would have named it unease). “Will such a thing not harm my worms, Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros? Despite being clean, I am aware that the very nature of my being is not as… sanitary, I believe, as the humans would like.”
And if Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros wishes for his whole shell, his whole self to be cleansed, it would not – he would not be able to reach his Garden for more of himself, if the worst were to pass. He does not know what would happen to him if he had no worms left to control, to be. Would he – die, then? Fade into nothing?
He does not know. Does not wish to know. Does not wish to even entertain the idea, because without him -
“If I were to be harmed during the process, I am afraid that my Hunter -” he pauses, the gap in his words punctuated by loud, wet bodies squirming over and over each other almost painfully so. The force of it halts him in place. Pressing his hands together does nothing for his seams. “...my Hunter needs me, Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros. For their sake and the people aboard this vessel.”
no subject
Like the look upon Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros’ face when he lingers by the door.
Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros must have heavy thoughts like his Hunter does. The ones that -
( - carved itself into me, Cas. You don’t… forget something like that. Can’t forget.
It’s become just as much a part of me as your maggots are a part of you.)
He doesn’t point out the pause (his Hunter appreciates when he does not, and something tells him that Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros would appreciate it as well), merely watches as Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros comes back to the moment and acts as if it had not happened instead. For all his curiosity, Cassius is all too aware how it can pry open wounds for the flies to infest.
“’Decontamination procedures’?” he echoes eventually, following Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros, grateful for his consideration of Cassius’ slower shell even as his low drone abruptly shifts (his Hunter would have named it unease). “Will such a thing not harm my worms, Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros? Despite being clean, I am aware that the very nature of my being is not as… sanitary, I believe, as the humans would like.”
And if Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros wishes for his whole shell, his whole self to be cleansed, it would not – he would not be able to reach his Garden for more of himself, if the worst were to pass. He does not know what would happen to him if he had no worms left to control, to be. Would he – die, then? Fade into nothing?
He does not know. Does not wish to know. Does not wish to even entertain the idea, because without him -
“If I were to be harmed during the process, I am afraid that my Hunter -” he pauses, the gap in his words punctuated by loud, wet bodies squirming over and over each other almost painfully so. The force of it halts him in place. Pressing his hands together does nothing for his seams. “...my Hunter needs me, Esteemed Senior Engineer Argyros. For their sake and the people aboard this vessel.”
He lowers his eyes. “I am sorry.”